i'd say he's cringe posting on main but he's cloaking his shit okay. expertly.

don't @ him

expertly

jake texting back: bro go to sleep

Oh my god

derkins: HAHAHA

go to bed finn

im crying that great hair is notable for finn

Was there some sort of... dancing involved? High School Musical definitely made that seem important. SOBBING

rita reading this and tossing her hair like pour moi?

safelybeds:

like no rita this is a child's crush

hepburns: :MSDLKGJ

JKDLFSA

RITA, CERTAIN IT'S HER...

SHE IS 100%

OH NO FINN SWEETIE

HELP LFMKAKS RITA

I should have used more ‘dude’ in this post, made it look like Newt

finn you need to disguise yourself

randomly insert different words and phrases used frequently by various orbers

throw them off the scent

the oldbies would know it couldn't be newt.... mr "craigslist my body on main"

oh yeah newt has no shame

it has a stink of cowardice, can't be newt

rita like "is degar finally opening up to his feelings.................."

LKDNJWFN

it's not brazenly slutty enough

the fact it cant be anyone else but finn - not because it's incredibly obvious it's finn, but because everyone else on the station would not give it this much thought and instead just go do something stupid about their feelings

CRYING, RITA

derkins: THIS IS THE TRUTH

bats her lashes commander......

KSDGSDJKL you’re right, Newt would have neither fear nor shame

this is so cute

safelybeds: all the adults on the station: what is this dating you speak of

omg rita

This really isn’t the best batch

To be asking

also yeah there's no such thing as dating you either pine for years or go straight to bonetown

that's the advice pool you're gonna get, finn

the way that's so accurate ...

poor finn. he has no human frame of reference

He already KNOWS THAT, OLD MAN

there are only two extremes on this ship

that must just be how Humans Are

He has to embrace his heritage

exactly

forever virgins or slut central

the human tradition of being a wreck

im crying that's legit the two and only extremes

wow "10 year dry spell" erasure

incel energy or chad energy, choose your poison

oh no finn

even kovacs would be like embrace slut energy until you get smacked in the face with soft doe eyes and finally choose commitment

i need to see the advice these monsters are gonna give

i gotta see it

"have you considered using the momentum of several near death experiences to open their eyes to some freaky yoloing?"

yeah. that one. that one's good advice

oh, i'm gonna be popcorning this one

rip ziggy, the true victim in all of this

You guys need to understand Finn already knows how to have problematic noncommittal realationships

he NEEDS REAL, CONCRETE ADVICE FOR THE OPPOSITE OF THAT

derkins: truly

Nobody asked for this

SCREAMING AT THESE RESPONSES

RITA....

honey.......

rita can't wait for her date

tell your date to meet you with a red rose in her hair in the sim room at 8

waits all night

--JAKE

RITAA

literally losing my shit at rita's reply

hepburns i just read your tag and had the same thought, lmao

just rita waiting and tapping her foot

LMAO

RITA!!!!!!!!!!

jake sjdlkfa;

I'M YELLING

i like the difference between the people who are being carefully anonymous and the people who are just mask off here

rita like degar stood me up!!!!!! well i guess he's more shy than i thought, that has to be it

also the fact that she went anon but like who doesn't know how she talks by now

JAKE

yujin: changes his typing style completely
rita: my love will never guess who i am

LMAOFjdshg

LkmSAJCN

KLDSMKLDSK THIS IS INCREDIBLE...

LMAO WHY DOES JAKE ALWAYS CALL HER OUT

LMAO

I WAS GONNA LEAVE IT AS A GAG REPLY

BUT NO YOU'RE RIGHT

i need the consistency of him calling her out every time

rita like YOU DON'T KNOW ME

safelybeds:

Oh no this sweet baby boy

he's out here being teen sincere, and then

can't believe jake's gonna break rita's delusions heart

ANDY!!

ok but who's going to be the one to ask if this is an april fool's joke

WHAT

andy like trust me it worked for my first four wives

meanwhile, iris like wow finn you sure move fast 😒 steves body bed isnt even cold yet

im already so into these answers

derkins: iris is really building an impression of Finn

is he wrong though

WELL....THE DETAILS

ANDY

derkins: LMAOOOO

SCREAMS ANDY

i hate everyone in this bar

it works ok

this icon is so good

he's tired

jake while looking after his puppies when they're babies + on no sleep. i get a lot of use in xim

but…maybe a little old fashioned? YOU CALLING HER OLD, FINN???

I'm sad I have no dating advice to give.

I have two idiots who would be into this but literally I just... don't know what to say haha. I'd fuck up either one I think. Oh well. I'll just popcorn. There is some good shit in here.

all these replies are KILLING ME

Finn being read for filth by his cr keeps sending me

SDKSDJKLG I KNOW!!!

You guys couldn’t just PRETEND

Also I always forget AFTER THE FACT that apparently anyone can peep the network did you want me to make that last reply private or

screaming

gaignun: LMAO nah, it’s okay public!

I'm imagining him nodding sagely as he writes

Anyone who has ever talked to Finn definitely can figure it out immediately

Ah yes. Dating. I've done that once or twice in my time

LMAO OK I just wanted to make sure oocly

cerebrah: LMAO I CANNTO WAIT

i figure if anyone oocly didn't want to See It they can skip kjxdfhjkvsd

LMFAO YZAK'S REPLY

Ryu loves to overshare

Sani_Caranza:

Yzak... ur right...

dang, what a callout

On god, Newton offered his body on the network, we’re past anonymity

yzak went for blood