Mum's been buying him treats and things, snacks and stuff. And he's eating them all on the day.

An example would be last night. She said there were ice creams in the fridge. Family snacks. If he wanted one.

The box was in the bin this morning!

Of his own snacks, she bought him a big bag of crisp, a few packets of chocolate bars he likes... He ate two four packs of chocolate in a day (snickers and chunky kit-kats) as well as my mother's crisps.

But he's barely eating any actual food. He comes out and makes a stack of sandwiches or cereal and that's about it.

It's amazing how much he's putting away, honestly. But he's costing my mum a fortune. And because of who he is, we're not entirely sure how to really approach him about what he's eating...

I would talk to him ASAP. A proper diet is important. It doesn't have to be like a punishment - maybe he doesn't know - but I would monitor his junk food intake.

I think the idea is that... We buy him snacks and such on, say, Monday. And then tell him that's to last the week. If he eats them all in a day...thats his own fault.

We think that he might be under the impression that the money we get from social services is all for him. Which it isn't. It's for my parents to help with the extra expenses of having another person living with us. So not just to but him junk!

tiger_eyes: completely agree! Even before he moved in we all sat and talked about making meals and eating together and what things he could cook himself and foods he liked...

And I think he's eaten two meals with my parents in the two weeks he's been here. Don't even see him through the day. He's a teenage boy so not surprised there. But the fact he's not eating until late at night is kinda bad.

Yeah I would make sure he knows the house rules.

And I would encourage him to eat more meals with the family.

That's good for all sorts of reasons - not just the food.

Oh we did. But I think we're going to have to stress some of them. Again.

Because even with social services giving us a bit of money every two weeks, we can't afford to keep buying food that this kid is either eating immediately or not at all (made meals are going ignored for the most part).

Its only been two weeks but really don't want this to become a habit...

So yeah. Gonna have to talk with him.

I think my parents are just afraid of being overbearing with the rules? I dunno. I think they're pretty damn basic.

I don't know how he can eat four snicker bars in a day! I'd be sick!

Oi. I mean on on hand I 100% could at four full sized candy bars i a day, but I'm at least aware of how unhealthy that is.

But if the kid is making sandwiches at last, maybe just stocking more of that and less of the junk could help?

Kiddo has a lot going on, and this may be his way of coping which does make this all trickier

Yeah he shouldn't be eating candy every day. It should be once a week with him usually eating good, healthy foods.

Having structure will help him more in the long run.

Eating feelings leads to trouble.

But I think a subtle approach of shifting what is available to healthir options you already have seen him like

tiger_eyes: It can, but sometimes it feels like food is the on thing you can control when everything else is changing. Going too harsh could flip things to the far other extreme and lead to an eating disorder

Given the larger situation this may need to be more delicate is all

That depends on whether he's emotionally hurt/damaged or if he's just being a teen and eating everything in the house.

I think the bad habits started long before us, honestly. And before he became orphaned. As far as I'm aware he was left to fend for himself a lot. But we were also told that he and his dad would make meals from fresh and that the kid could cook and enjoyed cooking. All we've seen so far is basically eating crap.

Pretty sure he's being a teen at this point.

That is also a possibility, lol

His dad passed away in may and his step brother had to return to Belgium two weeks ago. So there could be stress involved, so we haven't been too hard on him. Which is why my mums been buying food be likes.

But when she buys him a drawer full of snacks and he had eaten that drawer full by the next morning... Stress, grief or anything in between, just isn't a good enough excuse.

We're not gonna stop buying him things! He just needs to know it has to last. It's not healthy at all to eat that much at once.

I mean, as a comparison, I had a chocolate egg. It lasted me three days. I still haven't eaten the chocolates that were inside. He ate two in one night.

I... have no room to speak there. I once at a whole pound of ham as a kid while watching TV without realizing it. I did the same with grapes another time. I always used to just... eat a ton. I was always hungry growing up, and espcially as a teen.

I've done that with grapes! But I think my point is that it wasn't just the eggs. It was also a bunch of chocolate bars and crisp and a few cans of Pepsi. All while not eating actual food.

I used to be super skinny but sat and at a pound of pasta in a single meal. I'd have breakfast before school, breakfast again at school, lunch at school, pizza on the way home, then devour dinner and hunt for desert. But thankfully my folks could afford that. (well also I picked up a lot of lunch and breakfast tickets and money off the floor...)

At this rate if the social services do a drop in we're probably gonna get into trouble for the crap he's eating!

Yeah, I get it.

Other than sandwiches, what healthier foods has h shown interest in?

None. Unless you count cereal.

Yeah he has to change that or he will make himself sick.

They've actually made more of an effort to make meals since we usually don't. But they're getting left because he's not hungry due to all the junk he eats.

I would monitor the snacks and if you have to, put it somewhere with a lock.

We think he already is. He's taking immodium and a bunch of other things so we're pretty sure he is having issues with his bowels, so the junk food is not helping. But we don't have his medical details right now to know if there's something more going on

tiger_eyes: its gonna come to that if he's unable to control himself, sadly

If you can get him to eat less junk and join you for meals, he might open up more.

hm... can you ask him what he'd like to eat for meals? if he has stuff he likes, he might be more inclined to eat them. and if you can convince him to help make it, maybe he'd be willing to eat with the family?

analoren: We pretty much did that. My mum went out and bought things specially for him. Even pans and stuff! And when she's cooked a meal he's either said no or he'll eat it the next day on his own.

We don't expect him to join us for meals every day. We all work odd hours. We'd just like him to eat properly a bit more than he had been doing.

hm... troublesome... maybe he's still trying to settle in

this absolutely sounds like a trauma-response. If he enjoyed cooking with his dad, he may be avoiding it for a reason.

i mean, I guess one solution is to have fewer pre-made things

so he has to assemble something but that's annoying and inconvenient for everyone