TO START, I’m staying optimistic about May and getting things on track so that’s THE PLAN.

But, IRL stuff and mental health are kind of lowkey the pits rn and there’s a lot of Stuff that is just sitting in my to-do list, in my brain and generally dragging me down

I’m probably leaning towards pushing the reminder of my pre-event tags (so anything remaining from ciraiwei and the station) into handwaved conclusions. i hate doing that, especially since many are close to wrapping anyway

But I’m really struggling and it feels like just moving those off my plate so i can focus on my event tags (of which there aren’t too many anyway!) and more importantly making space for future threads

This doesn’t feel super good or relieving when I type it out thought so maybe i won’t! LIKE I SAID, just trying to organize thoughts and brainstorming

Sometimes you need to say stuff out loud (so to speak) to be like ACTUALLY THAT’S NOT IT

I'm happy to do this! Sometimes it's getting the weight of things you enjoy but are just too much with the rest of what life is throwing at you out of the way, to gain a little more breathing room

YEAH, and if i end up doing that i will ping people specifically and discuss things as needed. I dont want any things left as like, unresolved

Yeah! Either way, it's figuring out how best to be kind to yourself and enjoying how you navigate this hobby, since it's never about not having enough fun with people

Yeah exactly

Also like, i do not PLAN on dropping but a small part of me is like, trying to softly microdose on that possibility if it turns out that maybe RP and positive mental health are incompatible in my brain! Like I’m definitely not ITCHING TO DROP

You gotta do what feels right for you!

But I think i want to feel capable of it if i need to and not like, trapped

IF THAT MAKES SENSE

I think that knowledge would actually make me feel better about being in the game

HUGS YOU

It sounds kind of counterintuitive, but i am sure some of you get it!

Totally get it, totally with you

We have a plan tho and I believe in you!!!!!

❤️❤️❤️❤️

WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST, do what you gotta do to feel good-- I'm happy to be rping with you but prioritize your health first ofc

Thanks, I’m also happy to be rping with you, but yes...mental health has to come first!

I get you

The people i am RPing are honestly, so wonderful

Sometimes just knowing that there's an exit strategy is helpful

Like when you have a party you want to be at and you know you'll enjoy but the brain weasels keep picking at it, so you come up with how you could get out of it if you end up needing to. (Just me?)

I WANT to continue playing with everyone! I love the people in this game very much, I’ve made so many really strong connections and met so many kind people and that’s the thing i want to focus on!

SaroSaron: yeah, absolutely! I relate to that very much

I think I semi-get it... I hope you can figure things out tho for the better. I love tagging you always tho. And am always here if you ever need to talk anything out!

friend lmk if i can do anything to help meanwhile i will keep cheering u on and wishing good vibes

i think we've all been there

thanks guyssss

I'm in kind of an anxiety spiral with no clear exit right now, but I'm going out with some friends so hopefully that will help me calm down, or at least take my mind off things for a few minutes

hope the outing is a good time!

Sorry you're having a rough patch sam, and all of this absolutely makes sense. We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves in game and I hope you know that while I would dearly miss game stuff with you if you drop, I absolutely believe in putting your mental health first. I hope you can be kind to yourself, and enjoy your night out!

You make good sense! And it's a decision you hopefully feel and see we all support in every way it's made.

Knowing you have the ability to walk away for the sake of your mental health is v important, so choosing to stay can be a negotiation with how you're doing, and you know you'll make the decisions based on checking in with yourself, not guilting yourself about doing what's best for you

Coming back in here in lieu of making a new plurk

(Also thank you guys for the kind words that i read but didn’t respond to at the time)

I’m taken the week to like, update my (see make almost my whole ass ) thread tracker and skim read some old threads!

Looking over stuff retroactively, I could really see myself in real time losing my direction starting around March

I have a lot of things i want to do still, in terms of narrative and arcs and things i want to play out with people, so i think that’s probably not a problem at all. I’ve actually (like a freak) kept a file with my tags of like, long and short term goals and character beats

Not PLANS just ideas from which to draw and adapt on the fly

So i think that stuff fairly in order

I really, sincerely think I might need to pull the plug on all my threads and just start fresh. That feels drastic AF and i wouldn’t even consider it unless it was really the best option for me emotionally, but i kind of think that it might be

I don’t want to be like, a big fucking flake, but I’m also like, “this is a bad situation and it’s not worth trying to salvage in lieu of just, moving on and doing new things.”

sometimes a clean start is the best option and needed i've done the big clean before and felt SO much better after so if that's calling to you, definitely do it! folks will support you

YEAH thats what i am thinking as well!

yes, seconding grimm

I've definitely been there too

thank you guys for your support....its easy to forget that letting go of threads in a game is really not the end of the world

purge

also i dont think anyone can ever think you a flake considering how consistently ON IT youve been since you got here

its definitely always okay to take things slow and/or start over when you need to

no ones keeping score but you!

u got this

it's a good freeing move for yourself to then focus on everything present and forward facing, cheers for you!

thank you all again

I've decided I'm going to formally take a hiatus in May to work stuff out and refresh myself for June. I might work on SOME stuff but I want to remove the pressure on myself completely