cologard came back positive

now I need an actual colonoscopy and they won't let me do cologuard again bc pos

FUCK

I'm sure it's not cancer but still. do not need to have to do a few more dozen hoops while also trying to get prophylactic top surgery and other shit

protip, don't get old. everything sucks when you're old.

ugh is right!!!

oof

that sucks

it sure do

then again, cologard has been nagging me almost daily with snail mail and phone calls DID YOU SEND IT YET DID YOU POOP IN A BUCKET YET HOW ABOUT NOW that I'm kinda just. yeah, let's do the onerous procedure as long as my poor person health care covers itt.

anyway. if I'm not around, distracted, etc, the short answer is that my health is still shit and we're still clearly doing tests and figuring it out. SIGH.

Oh god, Gem, I'm sorry you're going through this

Oh god, I'm sorry. D: That sucks, all around.

oh no :c

thanks. it sure is a thing, innit?

Oh no, I'm so sorry. That sucks.

Dang, I've been getting so many adverts for that lately, too. The warning about 'false positives' makes me twist my lips.

ughh that suucks

I'm sorry

that's all I've gott

[offers these emotes in sympathy]

the headdesk is absoluely apt yes

8am monday ugh ugh I hate mornings let's add suffering to it

in better news, top surgery scheduled for November!

woo!

yay!

top surgery!!!

just need to get through round 1 of bullshi

t

the hoops keep multiplying every day

drags hands down face

fuckin pharmacy had the procedure listed as November. no, that's top surgery. the one you need to fill my prescription for is MONDAY

monkeys push buttons wrong hurr hurr

ugghhhh

this weekend is going to suck

when all this is over tomorrow I'm going to Culvers and gorging on the biggest burger they have with cheese curds

good

this suuuuuuuuuuuuucks

sings I hate all of this

ugh god you're doing the flush, aren't you

"scope prep" sounds so innocuous on the surface

yeah. yeah I am.

I saw someone on the genx reddit refer to it as "the purge" and that's accurate

oh gosh I'm so sorry

I have to get up at 5am to finish

It's the worst

IT SUCKS hi matsu what a thing to walk in on

HI GOOD LUCK, hang in there!!!

like, I get the why and how. I have logic. I understand every nuance. it still sucks donkey balls and holy shit I'm so hungry right now

I was watching the final-day coverage of the sumo tournament and the camera lingered too long on some guy eating a noodle bento in the audience.

oh no rip

I wanted to teleport to Japan to eat his noodles

the forbidden sustenance

I remember when I had to do it last, they also prevented me from eating CERTAIN foods within a certain amount of time, so that's another layer of annoying.

like no nuts or seeds??? no food with red dye in it???

yep

god, when it says jello, popsicles, juice, and gatorade are all fine except wait no red, purple, or blue dye. WELP.

guess what's like 90 percent red dyes yep

yeaah that's like half of the options

pineapple jello is gross btw

oh nooooooooo save yourself.

sob, I just wanted one thing that wasn't lemon flavored

oh no

I didn't get told no blue dyes so I had lime

hey not your fault if they don't tell you not to

pineapple does sound pretty horrendous

I did make my own popsicles so I could have something interesting and made of real juice

belatedly I realized I should have done that

oh well, almost there

fucking ganba

I did this with IBS I wish this hell on no one

There's a white Gatorade that tastes like red, IIRC.

yeah I got a white cherry and it was...passable. especially after I got up from my nap her and was like ugh electrolites plz

Fuck, that's rough. Went through that recently. Hang in there.

yeah the white cherry is one I actively like because I'm allergic to red dye so it's one of the few cherry things I can have

you too Al, for real

all that bullshit for a single polyp, now to wait for the results

>8/ good luck

yep benign. figures

get me all crazy for nothing thanks body

ugghhh

at least you know ig

Checking is good, in its way.

yep