I'll even do tags, wow! After war plans are finished for tomorrow for Boop Dessert. We have a meeting in 3 hours lol

MAYBE next week I will have the courage to consider job applications! Or not... but I'm hoping I can get closer to being ~okay~

Honestly, fam, my anxiety has been through the constant roof since I got home. I've had 3 panic attacks or anxiety attacks? I don't really know the difference. One was two days ago while I was at Scott's brewery with the fam. I had to just completely shut down and practically fetal position to calm myself PATHETIC I KNOW

I didn't actually. I did curl in a bit but I was so overwhelmed the bar was so crowded, the music was too loud, my family is very boisterous. Thank all fuck Alex was there because she picked up on my discomfort faster and kiiiiinda made sure I wasn't questioned so I could breathe lol

OF COURSE my dad berated me for not drinking. Scott insisted and brought me a beer I couldn't brain drinking.

I didn't chill for like an hour or two, to be honest.

BUT THIS HAS BEEN LIKE constant. The US just stresses me the fuck out

Look, I know Shanghai was a rollercoaster and I couldn't be so vocal about even the other shitty things about it but

It was simple!

It felt quiet

I had more... idk space. The US is just so invasive. I don't know how to describe it. This might be the true reverse culture shock hitting me now but sheesh

Give a girl a warnin would ya ffs

I mean the US does have that thing where everyone is kind of always nosing into everyone else's problems

Sometimes that's good but...

Also wtf your dad trying to tell you to drink, rude. Sometimes people don't want to! I hate that people act like you not drinking at a party or bar is you somehow killing the mood

How about you drink if you want to and leave me alone

LOL yes that is very him and very much my sister

They get upset if I don't drink with them

anxiety do be like that

IT BE INSANE I'm so tired

Ugh I am not a fan of that behavior