Not Voting for red or blue isn't wasting your vote, NOT VOTING IS! Don't like either, vote Gary Johnson. It could lead to more choices later

Thinking is really hard and takes up a lot of your time, so probably best to avoid it all together

Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood

Ding dong the bamboo forest is dead, well maybe not but it was coughing up blood this morning

SEMPRINI!!

I cut down the bamboo forest, it didn't like it, so it cut me back, now my wrists look like I'm terrible at suicide

There used to be fun and mystery when answering the phone, whoever could it be?!? Damn you caller ID

/me pops head up from his hidden laboratory.. sooo what have i missed?

Am I the only one who thinks they should rename the storm from sandy to snookie?

Using free food monopoly winners at McDonalds, scoping out the costumed people since my neighborhood was a bust for any kids again