this is where I recommend youlooknicetoday.com/. This is where you ignore my recommendation.

when my bf tried to wake me last night I elbowed him and kept screaming "punch you" while semi-asleep. Today I can't go to sleep. Karma.

I was playing portal. After a few jumps my guy slows down. I thought maybe she was tired. Apparently she had been stuck in crouch mode.

I went to a fish library. Don't be jealous.

to the person who was going 20mph while we were merging: I.will.eat.you. It isn't road rage, just a healthy appreciation for the speed min.

I just spent an eternity saying goodbye to someone. I hate when it gets to that awkward point.

quotes uni paper: "the level of fecal coliforms was unusually high [on the keyboards] despite the low sensitivity of our method". *Awesome*

I yelled out "baby" to my cat and my boyfriend responded.

it is strange to have someone else have a calendar of my meetings. I like to remain a mystery. Boo! Didn't even see that coming.

not a smoker but truth.com can shove its sanctimonious bullshit up their whoha.