shit,, jdi bosen.. waakakak

"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."

"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room."

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

The road to success is always under construction.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.