Charlie Sheen announces his retirement. HAHAJK lists what he will do next ping.fm/iG6WX

Obama's deportation moratorium: politics and policy with extra rice and beans ping.fm/uWFAP

Gross! Woman can't wait to wear Lebron James' dirty sweatband after 2012 Finals Game 3 (VIDEO) ping.fm/xCbsp

Despite not guilty verdict, Prosecutor says 'I'll lick everyone’s dick' if Roger Clemens never used steroids ping.fm/KeEjv

Scientists say time is almost up, suggest everyone have unprotected sex ping.fm/mlVF2

STUDY: If God exists, he seems intent on f*cking most of us over ping.fm/3weqO

We dare you to try this at home: New World Record for Longest Rock Scream (VIDEO) ping.fm/mnKFa

Adam Sandler huge fan of new Adam Sandler movie, 'That's My Boy' ping.fm/SwN6R

Lady Gaga swaps dildo for Barbie onstage at concert (VIDEO) ping.fm/unxvK

Duckling mistakes person for mom, chases him down (VIDEO) ping.fm/kmAd2