I realized now that I'd long ago given up any aspirations of shining at anything. I just did the best with what I had, never quite fitting into my world.
Does my son need a friend or a serious mother? i really don't know. i know i will be unhappy if i am serious to my dear baby. i would rather be a naughty mother. Communicate well with my son is first choice.
My soul never gets mature enough. I have to accept this or devote some efforts to change it, I don't know. But if I become a grown-up but boring one, I will be the first one who can't bear this.