That awkward side step to fix your balls when you're walking...

Gooodnight~

You're dumb as hell if you think someone that cheated on someone for you is going to be faithful to you.

this is the time of year where it's freezing cold in the mornings but so warm in the afternoons that dressing appropriately is impossible

The year is 2060. iPhone 842 is released. The screen touches you.

who else has taken 2+ years of a foreign language and still has no clue how to speak it?

Love is a weird thing like You just pick a human and you're like Yes I like this one, I'll let this one ruin my life forever.

I have this one eyed friend who's pretty cool.
he sends smileys like .D

It's a bird, it's a plane... No wait, it's the flying fuck I don't give.

When people tell me “You're gonna regret that in the morning“ I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem solver.