Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. - Melanie Griffith

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives