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from Jim Gaffigan: Biting into a chocolate chip cookie and realizing it's an oatmeal raisin cookie is kind of like finding out she's a dude.
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this new saying, "I'm going to punch you in the crotch of your soul!" courtesy of goats.com
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from FML "Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball.
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ugh, someone shot nine people at a gym 5 minutes from my house. 5 dead, 4 or 5 wounded. 