Oh dad. I don't need your help with the computer. It's just a Java update. - my ten year-old daughter

And Mel the wonder dog is now cowering under my desk. Either we're being attacked by aliens, or it's raining.

I can't wait for Adele's new album "Songs your ten year-old daughter will sing very loudly".

Just got a call from the Government. My marriage to a woman is annulled, and by law I must marry a lobster. Man that was a slippery slope!

<- not outraged

Don't know what you're officially supposed to do for Cinco De Mayo. So I'm just gonna eat Mexican food and get drunk.

Kiddo just left for her week-long class outing. Camping, Texas Frontier Museum, and LBJ's ranch. Gonna miss her.

Woke up this morning, and The Boomtown Rats were playing a gig in my front yard. Gonna be one of those Young Ones kind of weeks.

It's Earth Day! In honor of this day, I shall travel to Earth and spend lots of time there.

Oooh 4/20 is only a couple of days away. Time to call my CPA and move my investments into Funyuns derivatives.