A fool and his money are soon partying - Steven Wright

Left a nice note on neighbors car asking that he stop blocking my driveway; couldn't find any paper, so just used my car key..

All hockey players are bilingual. Cursing is its own language isn't it?

A bank is a large impressive building where you keep the government's money until your taxes are due

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves - Bill Vaughn

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it - P.J. O'Rourke

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful

Racing - https://plus.google.com/...

Once you've put one of his books down, you simply can't pick it up again - Mark Twain

RP briank The tweet fairy came last night. I got a note that said maybe I should try flossing more