FB vs. reality -
Speak well of your enemies. After all, you made them
It seems wrong to shoot your wife and not get her a present
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
Mail your packages early so you can lose them in time for Christmas
A man is known by the company he merges
We wouldn't have to ponder whether it was half-full or half-empty if you'd just fill the glass already
for "gamers"
Middle Earth sitcom idea: Two Men and a Halfling.