The fight we had last night was my fault, my wife asked me what was on the TV and I said dust...

A man who hunts two rabbits comes home empty-handed, and likely ends up eating instant rahmen alone

A bull does not enjoy fame in two herds

Do I have to go to medical school if I just wanna be the guy who screams "WE'RE LOSING HIM!"

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Drive carefully. We need every taxpayer we can get.

A large reputation often depends upon a small geographical sphere of influence - Bertram Troy

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot - Charlie Chaplin

I carry a blow dryer with me and point it out the rear window. Tailgating solved