I just noticed that doing your laundry teaches you how to be racist.

"I'm not like most girls." - Most Girls

I tend to say "I dont know" when im too lazy to think.

Friends with benefits is like saying, "You're good to hook up with, but not good enough to invest feelings in."

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.

The awkward moment when someone tells you how much they hate someone & then the next day they're best friends.

I hate getting flashbacks from things I don't want to remember.

That depressing moment when you wake up during the best part of your dream.

Child: "Dear Santa, This Christmas I want a baby brother" Santa: "Send me your mother "

Your legs are like McDonalds, open for business 24/7. B**ch.