"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice

"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."

"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

"A lot of fellows these days have a B.A., M.D., or a Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B."

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."

"You can make more friends in two minutes by being interested in them than you can in two weeks by trying to get them interested in you."

"Silence is the true friend that never betrays."

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

Teachers are expected to reach unattainable goals with inadequate tools. The miracle is that at times they accomplish this impossible task..