"My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths." that's why im on a diet...

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die

"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life."

I am so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have...hmmmmm

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself

"Hard work never killed anyone but why take a chance?"

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying

Life is like a B-movie script. It is that corny. If I had my life story offered to me to film, I’d turn it down