I also hope I live long enough to see the day when racism and poverty are nothing more than ugly chapters in a history book.

I hope I live to see a mission to Mars. And I hope the first foot to step on Martian soil is a woman's, and she plants an American flag.

Lives 3,268 miles from Delta Junction, Alaska.

I. Have. The POWAH.

Whoops, my bad, I was doin a rain dance and didn't even realize it.

My dog will drink a Diet Coke, but she prefers Schlitz.

Strewth!

As the sun shines on Candlemas Day, so far will the snow swirl in May.

welcome to Paris, baby, have a Royale With Cheese...

Jay, you haven't been funny in fifteen years. The Tonight Show should man up and keep Conan, who can still actually be funny.