Most people stay up until 5am drunk and order inappropriate things online. I stay up sober and order routers and airline tickets. I'm weird.

New phone time? NEW PHONE TIME!

It's important with terms and conditions to dot the i's and cross the t's. Otherwise it looks like lerms and condlllons.

Grammatically speaking, shouldn't the 'Dodo' be called a 'Diddid'?

Atheism is a non-prophet organization!

Nerd alert! ping.fm/WKKhH

Old people at weddings always poke me and say "you're next." So, I do the same thing to them at funerals.

Why was the new cell phone wearing glasses? Because he had no contacts.

I did a theatrical performance about puns, but really, it was just a play on words.

Just saw the best license plate: JOJATEC