PS And this is WITHOUT paying for the internet, b/c after paying for electricity, it would bring the bank down to near $0 (hence asking for Thanksgiving/Bday donations, b/c at least have that, right?)

But no. That plan is now ruined now.

Which means having to just. I'm tired.

I'm so tired.

And every time I want to share something GOOD, something BAD happens that just drains me to this level of deflation and putting the Talk About Good on hold. Again.

The numb-defeated feeling just hurts.

I'm sorry it keeps going this way, but that's usually how people end up in the situation you're in, too. Rising costs and even when you try to help yourself, someone does the wrong thing and not what you asked and it ends up messing it all up.

metaljean: You're 100% right... it's a hole that's crumbling constantly. And people in power are not doing their part, and people in position to PUSH those people aren't doing enough either...

metaljean: It just sucks to start getting so close only to have something falter... Like when my mom had a job interview within HOURS of the application being filled out only to... wait a week to find out she wasn't chosen. After a year and a half, the first REAL callback?

metaljean: And my vision being the way it is currently is slowing everything on my end down even MORE. Tho, my sister said my glasses are ready... It's just a matter of how they'll get to me and how I'll deal with bifocals...

All this - every time I have to ask, just makes it look like to "outsiders" that we're not trying. That it's ... Ugh it's just frustrating and exhausting.