Oh this tan? It’s probably melanoma 😅
Every time I’m driving and a bird waits until the last second to fly away I have a mini panic attack
The military should replace their hand grenades with SIG P320s
How do bugs not take fall damage
“Why are you crying?”
Cause that booty like an onion
My college just sent me a check for $5.38 🤑
#bigballin #donttalktome #imstillpoor
Just saying you can get out of jury duty if you call them and say "I'm Racist I can't attend"
Jovial Merryman... My beloved.
I just got told I look like a more ethnic Chris Pratt..
Hey so it’s actually super dangerous to soak cats in water because if you do they might grow a mermaid tail and swim away.. that’s why they bathe themselves