rofl everyone go on chatroulette.com/
Today, I discovered that I make sex noises in my sleep. How did I find this out? I fell asleep in an exam with 290 other people. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my crush. Too bad I was so drunk I pissed the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight, if thats not bad enough, he decided to shit onto my carpet to "show me how much" Im "worth." FML
Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us.
Today, my mom went into the bathroom and came out laughing holding my vibrator that I had forgotten in the shower.
...Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find
ROOFFFL Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML
ROFL! Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, I tried to last longer by thinking of fat, hairy, man nipples. I came faster. FML
