just get me planted somewhere and put a drink in my hand.

Could use a drinking buddy

dear retailers, at this busy time of the year, please make all the aisles in your stores half as wide.

up and at em

your 4x4 with a 4' lift kit and 3' wide tires isn't so impressive in the winter is it #douchebag

you look like a man-o-lantern

tonight I get back to Stephen King and the Dark Tower series

it's heart breaking to wake up on a Friday morning only to suddenly realize it's Thursday. Booooo.

I love a good thunderboomer as much as the next guy but not at 2 am

Happy Friday the 13th! Have a weird one!