is that.... gulps your plurk

I shower in hopes of getting new shower thoughs

If you ever get tackled by a police officer and they say "youre under arrest" you can actually just say
"no, im under you"

sometimes I gaze as the sunrise and wonder if I really have hit rock bottom.

my wife left with full custody of the fridge...

yall ever just stick your hand in a jar of peanut butter

I think soond mentioned ranked plurk. ima need thast

guys help, there plurk all over my monitor

im up plurking my shit right now

Congratulations, you just destroyed the worlds most dangerous sandwich