she lost her i.d. for a good reason...

I love when I place 19 items on the check out counter at the convenient store and they ask me, "Do you need a bag?"

Yes, I'm a human. NO, I CAN'T read this freakin' CAPTCHA!!!

Response I get when I add someone that seems interesting on MyYearbook: "Thanks 4 the add! What's up?" Response I get on Facebook:

I don't care if you're straight, gay, whatever - Pull The Plunger Out! I "liked" your picture, it's not like I slapped your tittie!

After reading some shit on the benefits of outsourcing, my husband asks me to follow people back for him on his Twitter... "EXCUSE

Watch the fireworks? Fireworks fuck*ng suck here...might as well light a match and watch me fart on it.