I am full of fiber glass. I am a fiber glass man.

Therapy but they pull a slide whistle at random parts of the session.

Is a bidet a strange house warming gift?

Lay down comedy.

I could see the Zuckerberg/ Peter Theil types finding a way to live forever but even a few centuries from now everyone will still be like "shut up nerd, your not cool"

Fuck Upton Sinclair for getting rid of my favorite rat sausages.

Why did so many of the best vidya games ever made release during the Bush administration?

I will ignorantly consume micro plastics and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

I know the febreze is a farce. You were doin something stinky in there 😏