I just heard Steve Jobs Resigned from Apple Computers. His last thing to show people today was called a iquit.....

Throughout life: I've loved, I've lied, I've hurt, I've lost, I've missed, I've trusted, I've made mistakes. But most of all, I've learned..

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long? I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

is Do you ever stop and think about the days before Facebook and Twitter, when you would do something and actually not tell anyone?

I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

If someone held a gun to my head I still don't think it would be as scary as almost tipping backwards off of a chair!

People always talk bout hard work, but you can work hard your whole life and not get anywhere...take my advice, work smart, not hard!!!

The Ipad: Because not enough people noticed you with the Iphone.

Everybody has that one person who always catches you doing weird stuff....

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving!!!