Anyone need a party to go to right now? I'm at one with free booze, dancing, painting, beach balls, and megaphones. Text me! 4049393311

Don't you hate when this happens with your ketchup? ping.fm/V55pd

Finally got rid of all that damn hair! Now I need a new driver's license picture... pingfmmedia.s3.amazonaws...

I fail to see the problem with this. Tacos are always of the highest priority! ping.fm/hJRWn

Maury Christmas! ping.fm/MLv9c

Ordering from Chocolate FX. Always a good decision

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? He always drops the bass.

God, I'm a dork.

Warrior Dash. Tough Mudder. Spartan Race. Is there an investment opportunity in extreme races that I haven't heard about?

Well, now we know what the fire alarm in my new house sounds like...